Earlier in the chilli growing season, you might have seen our article introducing the chilli growing competition that’s going on in a quiet little muse in Maida Vale. Well things have been sprouting all over the place down there and we’re pleased to bring you their latest update on how things are heating up (Get it?) between Mydestination.com’s Team Inferno and the Vindaloo Vixen chilli growing nuts:
Who’d have known chilli growing could be so exciting? Mere hours after the first instalment of the MyDestination.com chilli war, the competition’s first keen shoot was seen poking through Team Inferno soil, sending the boys into a state of delirium. Having thought this moment would take at least six weeks to arrive, the euphoria was understandable. The fact the shoot looked more like a weed than a sturdy chilli stem was ignored.
In a bid to claw back their disadvantage, the Vindaloo Vixens took their pots into hiding, only to return them to the office shelf a few days later sporting a worrying amount of mould around the cardboard seed sticks. The situation looked bleak. Against these odds, however, and with a little inspiration from Team Inferno’s techniques, the girls’ pots soon featured an infantile shoot too, and then another, and another, until all four pots were awash with greenery, and the MyDestination office was a happy place once again.
But the harmony was short-lived.
On the 5th of April at approximately 10:32hrs, Team Inferno dedicate Will reported a crime on the street, where Captain Plimento had placed his team’s chillies in a bid to catch some direct sunlight. Some jobs-worth had taken a swing at the defenceless pots, leaving pot number four soilless and pot number three shaken. The shoots didn’t catch sight of the culprit before he fled, and neither did Will.
‘Scandal!’ they cried. It was a blatant act of sabotage; salvaged from the wreckage was a long, straggly hair and an elastic hair bobble. The Vixens vehemently deny any wrongdoing, and have pointed a well-manicured finger towards the street’s dogs. The investigation is on-going.
Courageously, Team Inferno overcame their shock by picking the traumatised baby shoots from the destruction and re-planting them in fresh soil. With a significant amount of TLC and cuddles over the ensuing days, the roots re-established themselves, and soon all the plants began sprouting leaves at a herculean rate.
It was around this time that Captain Plimento took a holiday, for the stress of the chilli competition had taken significant toll upon him. On his return he learnt that Stefan, the office’s token German, had become particularly attached to the chillis, talking to them daily about current affairs and sports news, and forcibly ensuring they were kept well watered. It was a powerful display of paternal instinct, as if he had incubated the seedlings personally in his very own womb.
The Vindaloo Vixens claimed further foul play during this period: a single upturned stalk that smacked of revenge. No further accusations have been made, however, and the incident is being viewed by the majority as recompense for the insensitive manner in which the Vixens reacted to Team Inferno’s previous misfortune.
The chilli plants have since faced a tough couple of weeks, suffering from abject neglect over the bank holiday weekends which has left them looking pathetically wilted and weak, and demanding of them another fight for life that belies their nonconfrontational nature. It’s difficult to imagine there ever having been a chilli plant which has gone through quite as much undeserved trauma as these plucky survivors….
Tune in next time, or follow the live updates on twitter by searching for #MDIChiliOff to hear if the growing competition turns fruitful.
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: Thursday, 2 June 2011